Weird And Disturbing Sexual Fetishes

1. FORNIPHILIA

Form Of Bondage In Which A Human Is Used (Or Incorporated Into) A Piece Of Furniture. Examples Include: Human Drafting Tables, Human Lazy Suzanns, And Human Shelving (Ikeaphilia anyone?).

2. SACOFRICOSIS

The Process Of Making A Hole In One’s Pocket In Order to Facilitate Public Masturbation (“You wash those pants before I put them in the laundry!”). 

3. LIQUIDOPHELIA

Arousal Contingent Upon The Submersion Of One’s Genitals In Liquid. I’m staying out of public swimming pools from now on.

4. SYMOROPHILIA

Arousal due to witnessing or staging disasters such as car accidents (as seen in the movie Crash )

5. DENDROPHILIA 

Sexual interest in trees. Hippy Pervs.

6. FROTTEURISM 

Rubbing against a non-consenting person to facilitate sexual stimulation- otherwise known as ‘Riding The Bus/Subway’. 

7. EDERACINISM

Sexual pleasure derived from [the thought of] tearing out sexual organs by the roots. Pedophiles- you are Strongly Encouraged to develop this fetish and then follow through with it. Go on- rip it out by the roots, we’ll wait. 

8. MUCOPHILIA

Sexual pleasure related to mucus (e.g. the consumption of). You would’ve been in Heaven here when I had the flu. I was a mucus factory. On second thought- Fucking EW!!!!

9. AUTONEPIOPHILIA ( Infantalism) 

Sexual pleasure derived from dressing as (or imagining oneself as) an infant. Ladies- use your own ‘men’ jokes here. It’s just too easy.

10. GERONTOPHILIA 

Sexual preference for the elderly (uh-ya… particularly the filthy rich ones, right?).

11. SALIROPHILIA 

Fetish Involving the soiling or dirtying of one’s desire, usually an attractive person. Ok, ya’ll need some diapers from the Autonepiophiliacs.

12. URSUSAGALMATOPHILIA (Plushophilia) 

Sexual interest in teddy bears. Stay the fuck away from my teddy!

13. APTEMNOPHILIA/APOTEMNOPHILIA 

APTEMNOPHILIA= Being aroused and/or excited by amputees. This could be a win/win situation, I guess. APOTEMNOPHILIA= erotic interest in being or looking like an amputee. WTF? Seriously- you know that’s fucked up, right? 

14. FORMICOPHILIA 

Sexual interest in being crawled upon or bitten by small insects. Itchy…Itchy-Itchy-Itchy!!!!

15. VORAREPHILIA 

Vorarephilic Fantasies commonly revolve around devouring others whole, or being swallowed whole by a mate.

16. ZOOSADISM

Sexual pleasure derived from inflicting pain on animals, or seeing them in pain. Basically- they’re assholes who NEED to die Immediately. Preferrably as painfully as possible. Then spend Eternity in Hell being raped by the biggest demon imaginable. 

17. AGALMATOPHILIA 

Fetish involving statues, mannequins, and immobility. No Uncle Bob- this doesn’t include Auntie May. Ya…har har har. Ugh. 

18. MECHANOPHILIA/MECHAPHILIA

Sexual attraction to cars or other machines. Basically- men and their cars. Enough said. 

19. AVISODOMY

Sex with a bird. That’s just fowl! 

20. OCULOLINCTUS (Worming) 

Erotic pleasure stemming from the licking of someone’s eyeball. What? How do you even? Wha? How would you even go there in the first place?! 

21. PSYCHROPHILIA

Arousal is contingent on contact with extremely cold objects or watching others freeze. This is Nothing like when someone just enjoys chewing ice cubes. I’m just sayin’- for someone else….

22. HIEROPHILIA 

Sexual attraction to religious or sacred objects (e.g. masturbation with a cross).

23. CATHETEROPHILIA 

A sexual perversion in which the necessary condition is that a catheter or other foreign body (e.g. swizzle stick, garter snake) be inserted in the urethra. Uh- good luck with that. 

24. Menophilia

A person with menophilia gets sexually excited at the sight, smell or taste of a menstruating woman. Bloody sick if you ask me. 

25. Crush

A crush fetish is when one becomes sexually aroused when usually someone of the opposite sex crushes objects, food and sometimes small animals or insects with/under their foot. Bizarre- right? 

26. Dacryphilia

When one is aroused by tears or sobbing. In other words- an asshole. 

27. Emetophilia

When someone is aroused by vomiting or observing others vomit(When emetophiles put emetophilia into practice by actually vomiting, especially on a partner, it is called a Roman shower, after the supposed (but mistaken) belief in the frequent induction of vomiting at Roman feasts). I presume they hang out in bars and colleges.

28. Necrophilia 

The sexual attraction to corpses. Gee- I wonder if they seek employment within the undertaker/morgue fields?

29. Klismaphilia 

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Sexual arousal from introducing liquids into the rectum and colon via the anus (for example: enemas). I get the feeling adult diapers feature prominently in myriad fetishes….

30. Furries 

Furries are people who dress up in animal costumes and take on the persona of that animal. Sometimes full-on sex occurs, but often two or more furries engage in a behavior called “yiffing” (dry-humping or other sexualized interactions). Would saying, “Get Stuffed” be considered an insult or a compliment, I wonder?

31. Beastiality 

People who have sex with real live animals. I won’t even mention farm boys and cows. My willpower astounds me. 

32. Eproctophilia

The sexual attraction to human flatulence, mainly heterosexual males attracted to female flatulence. This is a thing? Really? I just can’t see it. Must be a Dominatrix thing. In that case- You Go Girl!

33. Panicophilia 

Occurs when you read through a list of Weird and Disturbing Sexual Fetishes to see if any of your fetishes might appear (*Other than this last one, all the other fetishes listed are completely real).